Changes
by THECURSOR
Summary: Jarod decides that he doesn't want to be 'chased' anymore, but Parker just can't seem to let go.
1. Default Chapter

Changes  
  
By THECURSOR  
  
I own nothing  
  
I'm actually a big fanfic fish to some people, but sadly this is not my pond. I've never written Pretender fic before so this is a departure from the norm for me. Wish me luck.  
  
Note: this is actually a challenge response: What would happen to Parker if Jarod stopped playing the game.  
  
****************************  
  
Ms. Parker sat with a good scotch in her hand on her front porch and sorted through her mail the same way a papered Siamese cat picks through its food, only a truly worthy letter was deemed good enough for her to open.  
  
Today the selection seemed to be especially thin.  
  
Bill, junk, bill, coupons, more junk, catalog, postcard, bill, Time magazin-  
  
She stopped shifting when she realized the error in that list. A postcard. Parker hated post cards. Everyone knew that.  
  
Everyone, that is, except him. HE didn't know.  
  
She quickly threw all her other mail aside and let it land with a loud thwap on the porch floor. She turned the tacky postcard over in her hands and ignored the stupid Delaware Is For Lovers slogan on the picture side. It had been a few months since she had heard from Jarod and there was some concern at the Centre that he might have died or gotten seriously hurt during a pretend. If this was from him, Parker could have Broots track down the point of origin and.  
  
Her mouth dropped open when she started reading the words on the letter.  
  
*Dear Parker,  
  
You tell me that we are playing a game. Well if that's true, I concede. I don't want to play anymore. Its just gotten too hard to keep yearning for a normal life and being on the run at the same time. I still want to find my mother and I'll never stop looking for her, but I know deep down she would want me to be happy. I don't want to run anymore and I don't want you to catch me. I'm too tired to play. So I'm leaving, Parker. I'm going to disappear. Maybe meet someone and start a family of my own. I telling you this because I hope you'll do the same. Just try to be happy. Love, Jarod  
  
PS At the bottom is a number for a great clinic in your area that helps people quit smoking; I think you should try it. It would be good for your ulcer. *  
  
Somewhere else in the world, children were playing and birds were chirping. There was an entire symphony out there of joyous sounds being made by happy people. But in the Blue Cove area of Delaware there was only one sound. It was a pathetic heart breaking sound that would make you sick to your stomach if you heard it. It was the kind of heart wrenching noise that would make you shake your head and mutter 'Poor dear.'  
  
It was the sound of Ms. Parker hyperventilating in fear and panic.  
  
As her breath came it short, unhealthy gasps, Ms Parker felt a pain in her stomach shoot up the left side of her body and reach her head. It was as though her ulcer had spawned a child and sent it too live in her brain. It was so painful that she started to see stars and feel woozy.  
  
Just before slumping to her knees and after she began to pass out, Parker made a silent plea to what ever deity was listening.  
  
I can't get sick She thought.  
  
I have to stay healthy so I can kill that SONUVA BITCH!!!!  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter Two

Ms. Parker popped yet another one of the pills given to her by the Centre doctors. The recommended dosage was three a day and she had already swallowed six. While she was well aware of the dangers of over medicating, she just couldn't seem to care less.  
  
She wanted to stay on her feet and the more pills she took, the more awake she felt. She needed that. She needed that super edge the drugs would give her. She needed her brain to fire a thousand miles a second if she was going to catch Jarod.  
  
Her eyes narrowed slightly, when she thought about Jarod. That was because Parker knew he was the source of all the pain in her life. It was entirely all his fault. He was the bad guy not her, and now he was going to get away. She had to stop him before he disappeared, make him pay for all the late nights and the active ulcer.  
  
Nobody quits a game while a Parker was on the field.  
  
"Parker?"  
  
Ms. Parker's thoughts of revenge were interrupted by the sound of Sydney's distinct Belgium accent. She wasn't surprised as the aging shrink walked through the door of her office and closed it behind him. She was more then a little annoyed to see that stupid 'I feel your pain' smile he always seemed to have when he was concerned about people. She was so glad to see it fade when he saw the open bottle of pills on her desk. "What the hell is it?" her voice had that tense edge to it and she knew that it was wrong to be so upset with him without good reason but she was too wired to care at this point.  
  
"I just came in to see how you were doing, " he settled uneasily into the chair directly across from her, "I heard you had a little scare this morning."  
  
"My ulcer acted up."  
  
He nodded the smile returned briefly, "So Dr. Keith told me." He leaned forward to try and look more sympathetic, "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine. Has Broots finished his analysis of the postcard yet?"  
  
"No." His eyes wandered again to the open pill bottle on the desk, "Parker, this sudden fixation on Jarod…"  
  
"What sudden fixation? I'm being passionate about my job." She suddenly rose and slide the unspoken conversation piece sitting on her desk into a drawer, "We have to catch Jarod before he gets away for good. He's our property and I'm just eager to get him back."  
  
"Oh are you? Or are you worried that the only man you ever truly cared about is leaving for good?"  
  
Parker snorted out a small chuckle. Either she had taken too many pills or Sydney had just said what she thought he said. "I do not care for Jarod. I hate Jarod. Jarod is the reason I'm trapped in this place."  
  
"No he isn't."  
  
She blinked in shock. "What?"  
  
"In the beginning Parker you had a choice. Let your father turn you into a glorified sweeper or you could have rebelled and simply went away, run off to join the circus so to speak."  
  
The venomous look that crossed Parker's face could have bent steel. Sydney suddenly found himself wondering if this was an especially health conversation. "My father," she began, "Had an immense amount control over me. If I had disobeyed him like that I would have been left with nothing. Not a single dime…"  
  
"Was the money your motivation? You aren't greedy Parker, you were pampered growing up but I know you were never spoiled, you knew the true value of a dollar and wouldn't have been too concerned if Mr. Parker had cut you off." Sydney's voice began to raise in volume and Parker was suddenly treated to a rare view of the Dr. Green's anger. He was frustrated with her stubbornness and scared at her behavior. "You had a choice Parker and you chose to remain not because your father made you but because you wanted to stay close to the Centre. Close to Jarod."  
  
"I have never in my life…"  
  
"Don't you dare say that." He pointed his finger in her face and waved it angrily, "I still remember the little girl who would tug on my pant leg in the hopes that I would release Jarod from his exercises so he could play with her. I remember the teenage girl who wore make-up and low cut shirts on her every visit to my Sim Lab. I even remember the cold, driven head of Centre security who made unnecessary patrols through the Pretender holding cells for no good reason. This isn't about your job its about Jarod. Its always been about Jarod so don't you dare try to-"  
  
Sydney would have continued his speech but Parker's hand slapping into his cheek stopped him cold, He had never realized how hard she could strike a man.  
  
When he heard her voice it wasn't even a shadow of the happy little girl he had mentioned a moment ago. "First of all, you are not my shrink so stop handing out free advice like your some kind of fifty dollar Yoda. Secondly, I was lonely as a child, I was having sex with one of the sweepers when I was a teenager, and I was doing my goddamned job back then just like I am now." She nearly hit him again but instead started moving towards the door, "I hate Jarod. This is all a game to me, a game I'm going to win. Now if you'll excuse me…" her sentence trailed off into oblivion as she walk out the door.  
  
But his voice still trailed after her, still questioning her world.  
  
"That sweeper you dated, was he a tall brunette?"  
  
************************************  
  
As the Centre's jet took off Parker sat back in her chair and popped another pill. Broots had finally earned his money and by morning she was going to be in the small college town of Oberlin, Ohio. Soon she would have Jarod in her sights and this whole nightmare would be over.  
  
She forgot all about Sydney's analysis and concentrated on how much fun it was going to be capturing Jarod. Parker could see it now. She'd knock him unconscious, then handcuff his arms behind his back, and then she'd whip him for giving her an ulcer.  
  
With a belt.  
  
He'd beg for mercy and plead for her to stop but she'd just keep making fresh welts on his back and watch his skin open like a spring rose. She'd make him do things like kiss her feet and talk about how much smarter she was then him.  
  
As Parker's revenge fantasy turned sordid, she felt a familiar warmth go through her.  
  
Realizing it wasn't going away, she got up and went into the jet's bathroom to relieve the tension. Because that's all it was.  
  
Tension.  
  
************************************  
  
"Hello class," the new English professor at Oberlin College said, "My name is Dr. Jarod Russell and welcome to English 132."  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter Three

Jarod strolled through his apartment door and dropped the previous days ungraded papers on to his coffee table. He had never realized how hard living in one place for an extended period of time could be. He now had bills to pay, a mailing address, a phone number. And on top of everything else, he had neighbors, actual neighbors. This was all so new to him. He felt as though he had moved to Mars over the weekend.  
  
As he walked into his small office and placed the papers on his desk, he heard a sound that years of being on the run had trained his ears to recognize.  
  
The sound of a gun cocking.  
  
"Gotcha." Said a voice from the shadows, "I win." The voice was punctuated by a mad cackle, obviously the voice's owner had snapped. Of course Jarod didn't need to speculate as to who the voice belonged to. "Parker? How in the hell did you-"  
  
"Quiet. I want to drink this in for a moment. You. Helpless. This is just too perfect."  
  
She stepped from the shadows and Jarod felt his breath catch in his throat. Her eyes were bloodshot and sunken low into her head. Her clothes had that rumpled slept in look and her hair had gone unbrushed, she looked wild and untamed. Her skin was a nasty shade of pale making her appear ghost like and frightening.  
  
"Ms. Parker you look terrible." There was that mad cackle again. Jarod could have sworn that he saw her grinding her teeth in-between laughs, a sign of narcotic use. "Are you on speed?"  
  
It was the genuine human concern in his voice that set her off into a fit of rage. "Shut your god damned mouth!" She screamed, her arm shot up to point her gun in his face. The firearm seemed to silently bark and snarl at him in the darkness like a leashed attack dog. He could tell that she really wanted to shoot him.  
  
"You little son of a bitch." Parker was no longer screaming but her voice still had that deadly energy to it, "You thought you could get away? That the game was over? It isn't over until I say its over."  
  
Jarod only felt annoyance when he heard that sentence. She still thought his life was a game, in which it didn't matter if he lived or died. "We weren't playing anything."  
  
This time the laugh was followed by a crazy smile, like the kind seen on a violent mental patient "Bullshit." She whispered, leaning forward, "You are Centre property and it is my job to catch you."  
  
Jarod felt his annoyance slowly boiling into rage but he managed to keep it contained for the moment, "So that's all I am to you? After all the help I've given you? I'm nothing but Centre property they sent you to fetch?"  
  
"You can't confuse me anymore, Jarod." She chuckled darkly, "Everything is clear now."  
  
For a moment, fear was all Jarod could feel. Parker had finally lost her marbles. She was going to kill him and maybe have his skin made into a pair of boots. "You don't have to do this."  
  
"I do what I please, I'm a Parker."  
  
"But you're not a killer." Ms. Parker felt her resolve falter when she heard the unselfishness in his voice. She was pointing a gun at him and all Jarod cared about was what this would do to her. He was being nice to her after all that had happened between them. "Please." She heard him say quietly, "Give me the gun."  
  
Her resolve may have faltered but her rage had not. Parker kept the gun on its target but she felt that some of her previous zeal had left her. Not that she let him see that.  
  
"You sanctimonious ass! Who gave the right to say what I am and I am not?" Her hands began to shake but they still held firm on the handle of the gun, "I've gotten really sick and tired of your little obsession with me."  
  
The anger Jarod had felt earlier returned a thousand fold. "My obsession? Who the hell has been chasing ME? I've done nothing to you!"  
  
"Oh really?" Her voice sounded more like the roar of an angry storm. She was screaming at the top of her lungs with rage, "Who calls me at midnight to taut me with information about my mother? Who decided to choose men for me to date? And who gave me a god damn ulcer?"  
  
"First of all," He started to shoot back, "I was giving you information about your mother as I came a cross it. Secondly, you gave yourself an ulcer with all that drinking and smoking you do. The fact that you blame me for it is yet another example of your friggin obsession with me!"  
  
"And Thomas? Justify him."  
  
"I wanted you to be happy, you frigid ice bitch!"  
  
Parker gritted her teeth and tightened her hold on the gun, re-aiming it at his chest instead of his head. "Oh so now we're resorting to name calling. What's the matter genius, run out of flowery words?"  
  
"No Parker, I'm just wishing I had decided to disappear earlier," He added sarcastically, "Because I'm seeing such a lovely side of you."  
  
"Go to hell!"  
  
"I already am." He wanted to still be angry at her but he didn't realize how sad his next words sounded, "Its hell having a person I used to think was my friend betray me."  
  
The fire in her eyes seemed to fade a little and Jarod could feel her begin to waiver a little more.  
  
"That was a long time ago." She muttered, "I was different then."  
  
"Only on the outside."  
  
"On all sides." She whispered, "That's why I have to kill you Jarod. Because if I don't, I'll always be reminded of what I used to be." The gun in Parker's hand faltered again as she found herself pulled back into the world of memory. When her trip was complete, she refocused her eyes into Jarod's. "I'll be reminded of how many years I've been chasing you."  
  
"It hasn't been that long." He said, realizing he'd never had this much eye contact with her before.  
  
She laughed and Jarod was relieved to hear it had returned to the soft melody and not the harsh cackle. "You may have been running from me for four years but I've been chasing you my entire life." She her body shook with a deep sigh, "I remember that time we kissed in the Sim Lab. How my body felt older and stronger afterwards. You made me a woman with one kiss Jarod." She said quietly, "No ones ever kissed me like that since then. Not even Tommy. Do you know what kind of boys I dated when I was younger? They weren't football players or rich boys; they were honor students and chess players. I dated geniuses, Jarod. You and your fucking kisses from god made me chase after you." The gun hand shook again, "But when I became Head of Security at the Centre, I purged myself of my feelings. I fell out of love with you Jarod. You have to believe me when I say that."  
  
He nodded slightly, not answering.  
  
"I don't love you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Sydney said that I was chasing you because you were the only man who I ever really cared about." She felt the last of her anger and drug induced numbness get replaced by pain, "I slapped him when he said that because deep down I knew he was right."  
  
"Ms. Parker I…"  
  
"Do you remember…" She interrupted him as though he had never spoken at all, "…When we were sixteen and I asked you if you wanted a girlfriend?"  
  
Jarod nodded absently, "I said that you already were my girlfriend."  
  
Parker laughed softly at his words, "I was really angry when I realized that what you meant was that I was your friend and that I happened to be a girl." She kept laughing sadly, "You were always playing with my heart like that."  
  
"I wasn't. I just didn't understand the concept of romance."  
  
"You were a little boy in a man's body." He nodded in response, smiling a little. "Do you understand it now?"  
  
Jarod paused. He knew that his next answer had to be phrased very carefully. After failing to come up with an appropriate response he just decided to go with the direct approach. "Give me the gun and we'll talk." He was expecting her to snap at him angrily but instead her eyes began to fill with tears  
  
"Parker, please don't cry." Jarod said as he watched her gun arm began to waiver and shake, until it finally dropped completely, "You don't want me to see you falling apart like this."  
  
"I don't care anymore," Parker sobbed as the gun clattered to the floor, "I'm so tired." The hot tears streaming down her face made it impossible for her too see anything but her pain. It was like she was all alone in the world, that no one cared anymore. She had wasted her life. She knew that now. Parker had let some of the most despicable people in the world use her like a weapon and in the process, turned her against the man she had pined for. After a lifetime of serving in hell, there was nothing left to give to heaven.  
  
Suddenly, she felt a strong pair of arms encircling her. Jarod was holding her. After everything she'd done or tried to do, he was still willing to hold her.  
  
Losing herself in his arms, Parker realized how much she had missed being near her old friend. He was so safe, so kind, and so very handsome. As she squeezed him tighter, Parker felt familiar warmth pass through her body that seemed to wash away all her insecurities and pain and she knew in that moment that this was where she belonged.  
  
"Jarod. I'm so sorry for…" She felt his fingers moved to her lips to quiet her.  
  
"Parker." He whispered, "You don't ever have to be sorry for anything." She felt him delicately run his hand through her hair, brushing it out of her face.  
  
For a moment there was fear in her, "I-I don't love you." she stuttered nervously as her eyes became pasted to her feet.  
  
He smiled, "Liar."  
  
Stepping away from him for just a moment, Parker found herself looking deeply into his eyes. She slowly moved closer towards him until their faces were only inches apart. And then…  
  
…they kissed.  
  
*******************  
  
A few months later, Sydney sorted casually through his mail and sipped a small glass of wine. He stopped sorting when he saw a small postcard from Ohio. On the back were these words:  
  
* Dear Sydney,  
  
Game over.  
  
Love,  
  
MP *  
  
The old doctor broke into a wide grin. "Well, they certainly took their sweet time, didn't they." He said chuckling.  
  
THE END 


End file.
